Posted in Lifestyle

More About My Family: Kiwi Wife/Indian Husband

On special occasions I love to dress in a beautiful sari. It is always exciting to wear such beautiful fabric which feels so feminine as it drapes and contours beautifully.

A sari is the prefect formal attire and my preference has always been for a classic silk fabric… although I have several fashion saris as well.

My wedding sari was made from a rich purple/maroon Kanchipuram silk fabric with a thick silver brocade border. I have kept it all these years and it is still in very good condition so I wore it to my niece’s wedding in Malaysia in 2019.

This was the first wedding of all the Nadarajah grandchildren so it was a most significant and happy occasion.

At my wedding reception 1982
Our 40th wedding anniversary getaway, Gaya Island, Malaysia, July 2022

This year we have been married for 40 years and to this day people always ask how I met my husband.

I want to ask you the same question, please respond in the comments below and let me know your love story.

Every love story is unique and special so I am sure that yours is too. Did you meet and fall in love at first sight, or get to know each other as friends in the first instance? Perhaps your parents arranged a meeting and love grew from there? Whatever the story was for you I’m sure it was amazing and of course, life altering! I’d love to hear about it.

For me, I met my husband, Basker, through university friends at a house party. We felt an immediate connection and our friendship grew quite quickly into love. We found we had common interests such as music, food and we were intrigued by each others cultural differences. We both had a love of travel and quickly realised that we had similar goals in mind such as having a family, and so within a year we were married.

Ours wasn’t a conventional wedding in any sense of the term but it was exciting and unique; it happened in several staged events. From the registry office marriage and reception dinner at an Indian restaurant in Auckland. Followed by a large wedding reception held in Malaysia, where I met all of Basker’s family and family friends who were all warmly welcoming and supportive. To finally an exchange of garlands at a temple in Thiruchendur, South India.

Of course, during this time my parents were thoroughly unimpressed and disapproved of our marriage so they would not take part in any of the celebrations. It was disappointing and hurtful but regardless we chose a life together, doing things our way. Nevertheless, I still kept in close contact with my parents and visited them often and eventually they became confident that all was well. In fact it took them several years to know and love Basker… happily they grew to love him a lot!

I think that having children from two different cultures has given them the benefits of both backgrounds, with an opportunity to expand their own knowledge about their English/Kiwi (Christian) heritage and their Indian (Hindu) heritage. My children’s diverse heritage has allowed them to appreciate different cultures particularly when we travel, piquing an interest in history, all types of ethnic food, dress and culture while at the same time being available and open to answer any amount of questions… “who is that white woman?”, “is that your mum?”, “are you a group of friends?” etc, etc.

For the most part life has ticked along… work, children, getting them to school and Saturday morning sports, then the milestones of learning to drive, school ball, uni and finally career. Interspersed with travel to far off places and to home in Malaysia where we reconnect with the Indian/Tamil cultural heritage.

For now, Basker is still working for the Covid Response Team, Nisha is a primary school teacher and Linga has recently returned to New Zealand after living for 10 years in the United Kingdom.

I can’t wait for the next chapter…

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